Dear You . . .
We're At the Walls of Milan!
We got up in the dark againand got here mid-afternoon
. . . but we're only "at the walls" . . .
(in front of the Northern Gate)
. . . getting inside the city
is going to be more complicated.
Goth Punk Graice,
Renaissance Faire Dude Derek,
and Civil War Colonel Steve outside Milan
May 27, 1368 / 2002 Memorial Day
There are roughly 700-800
soldiers, traders, travellers
camped out around each of the city gates
as people gather from far and wide for this wedding
Understandably . . . they don't like letting too many
soldiers & bodyguards into the city
Northgate Mall
So . . . Skip has dubbedour little improvised camptown "Northgate"
and is pretending it's a mall
and ran off
saying he was looking for the "GAP"
and the "Bennigan's"
Regine began negotiations
with the Visconti bouncers
at the gate
. . . and now it's late afternoon
and the citizens of Northgate
are laughing and wrassling
and cooking
and periodically
trotting over to use the Milan city moat
as a toilet
Rainshower on the Road
This Morning
Talk to the Glove
We passed a couple and their donkeyat a shrine/spring
the hubby was beating the crap
out of the wife
Regine stepped in
put her sword on the guy's throat
and told me (translator) to tell him
that she is going to watch him
for the rest of his life
and kill him if he touches her again
She took off her glove,
stood it up on a rock wall
and we rode off
10 minutes later
Regine wheels her horse
and goes galloping
back down the road
yelling into her walkie-talkie
a few of us gallop with her
and when we get back to the shrine
the wife has a new abrasion
the man is shrieking and terrified
and blubbering on his knees
bowing to Regine's glove
Regine ties a tourniquet around his little finger
and mashes it with the butt of her sword
Then she grabs her glove off the wall
(and secretly takes
the other walkie-talkie
out of it)
and tosses the glove to the wife
Sorcery, I guess.
Chivalry, I guess.
Hope it works.
The Romans Were Giants
I rode an hour today with two very culturedand kindly Sicilian free lances
who were trying to convince me
that the Romans
were a race of alien Giants
I love Roman roads
that's how we got here so fast!
"How else could they have built all of this shit?"
they asked.
"They can't have been human beings!"
I said, "No,
I'm a Giant!
Berto Alto the Giant!
Tell all your friends!"
Guess Who?
Skip just returned and told usthat over by the Eastgate camptown is . . .
Guess who?
The honor guard of the White Company!
Hawkwood Himself is apparently already inside the city
And Guess What?
He said the White Company dudes have heard of us!!"The Blind Company" and its Captain ---
"The Witch Queen"
that has to be us, right?
One Mystery Solved
They call us the Blind Companybecause of our mirrored sunglasses
which they think are solid metal
*leaps with glee*
Yes!
That was my marketing idea!
More Mysteries
The White Company guyshaven't heard that we're going to team up with them
. . . so it must be top secret . . .
or untrue
And I've got to make sure everyone knows
that we're Blue Company
Relaxing in Northgate
We did something we haven't done for weeks--- since Winter Camp ---
A bunch of us flopped down in the shade
and improvised a long story about our hero
"The Cool Dude in White"
which is based on something
this trader guy heard in the Holy Land
a rambling saga about a master swordsman
We always bring current events into it.
So Julio went on and on
about how a Regine-like character
falls in love with Cool Dude in White
which is a total hoot
Here's Why it's a Total Hoot
You asked me this a long time agosorry for the delay
The scoop on the Blue Company is:
--Regine is definitely attached ---
She has a girlfriend with kids
back in the 21st
-- Skip has a girlfriend in the 21st
-- Julio and Superstar used to be together
-- Now Julio has a girlfriend back in the 21st
-- There are seven current couples that I know of
amongst the Blue Company
(two gay, one lesbian)
-- Only one is a "mixed couple"
(i.e. a Goth Guy and a Financial Type Woman)
-- Four couples have broken up
--- There is one child
("Margheurite Regine")
that one of the financial guys had
with a Greensleeves (army hooker)
that he must have gotten to know
within minutes of our arrival
and now she and the baby travel with us
(they're sweet)
The dad is in total denial-- About 6 or 7 of the company
about the fact that we come back
to your time in just a few weeks!
periodically patronize the Greensleves
-- And I, it seems,
*bats eyelashes*
have you
although --- no pressure, huh?
I mean it.
When I get back let's talk on the phone first
and then go out to dinner
take it slow
I don't want to be a pest
*secretly wishes you were here right now*
Knock, Knock
How many White Company squiresdoes it take to change the wick
in an animal-fat lamp?
Ten.
One to change the wick,
Nine to make the sign of the cross
twelve times
standing on one leg
facing north
without blinking
while chanting "Ave Maria" in the key of b-flat
Superstitious, you ask? Superstitious?
Are they Superstitious back here?
Imagine the worst baseball-football-soccer
locker room superstitions
you've ever heard of
and multply by 100
magic underwear
magic hair scrunchies
magic shrew corpses in your pocket
Hang out with Late Medieval fighting dudes
and you're walking on eggshells the whole time
There's a million things you can do wrong
Apparently, don't say the word "Cesena"
over at the White Company camp
Skip saw two guys get into a fight about it
whatever it is
Signed, Sincerely Yours Truly,
Berto Alto the Giant
"Tell All Your Friends"