Dear You,
Long Day, Tired E-Mail
Regine got us up earlydrove us hard all day
She mounts up before dawn and yells:
"I'm sick of these mountains!
We're gonna blow through them today!"
There's some kind of fire under her butt now
to make it to Milan
I was sore-footin' it most of the day
while Skip rode Nastibelle
But . . . we're into an actual, decent-sized valley now
with actual decent-sized towns
and churches with resident priests
. . . and all of a sudden Skip and I are nostalgic
for the hills and their 'billies
*sigh*
Yep, we're definitely within the purview of Sivilisation
again
(such as it is)
darn it
Chatting Up the Villagers
Plus . . . when we got to this lil' hamletabout sundown
Regine insisted that she and I
go talk to people
(the last thing I wanted to do)
. . . so I haven't eaten yet . . .
She wanted me to do some focus tests
and see if anyone has heard of us
Yes they have heard of us
. . . and they've heard of Regine and Julio
by name . . .
but nobody's heard of me, Berto the Giant
Which is gonna look bad
at my Performance Review!
While I did that
Regine had obie-gynie talk
with some of the grammas
Blondes Drink More Blood
Have I told you how sometimes people jump & cowerwhen I walk into a hovel . . .
. . . because I'm blonde?
Every place we've ever been back here
people tell stories about Vikings
. . . blondes . . .
vampire stories
*pause*
Boo.
These folks tonight asked me if I was Erik Bloodaxe
Nice name recognition
for a guy who's been dead 4 centuries!
(Lucky son of a bitch.)
Information travels everywhere back here!
"No, I'm Berto the Giant, damn it!"
*clenched fist*
*smile*
Guaranteed there were
never Vikings in the Italian Alps
. . . I mean, right?
Who is Erik Bloodaxe's marketing person?
Thinking About What You Wrote
. . . while I drifted into my horseriding zone today . . .. . . you wrote about
my tendency to distance myself
and escape into work
Yeah.
. . .like by 600 years . . .
*blush*
you got me
But, the Good News
lucky for us ---spending the night also
in this decent-sized town
is a small troupe of traveling actor-bats
Poppa Actorbat
So . . .
as soon as I finish this
I'm gonna grab a piece of bread
and go back to see the rest of their
Song of Roland
Grandpa of the family is narrating
w/the booming radio voice
astonishing athletic Mom, Dad and Kids
balancing and juggling and pratfalling and playfighting
--- shows you what human beings can do
if they never go to school, but instead
spend 4-6 hrs. every day with nurturing parents
learning a physical skill ---
(Olympic gymnasts
to the tenth power)
Two Teenage Actorbats in a Horse Suit
And there's the funky age thing going on -- deluxe!
parents and kids all look the same age
(there's no incentive whatsoever in this culture
to stay a kid . . . you want to be a junior adult as soon as possible
Kids grow up so fast in these days)
The absolute star is Oldest Daughter
who plays Roland in Crusader Gown
and thin tin helmet
. . . slow cartwheels and thru-the-legs swordsmanship . . .
Regine stands beside me in the torchlight
just now
stares for a while at the show
turns, and says:
"That family could kick the ass
of any knight we've seen this trip.
They are awesome fighters."
Rhythm of the Road
So . . . while I was walking todayI was working on my Ragging and Bragging
(they rhymed taunts it is my job to deliver)
And I made a French-style triolet for you.
(Triolet is a rhyme pattern)
(We're big into rhyme patterns back here)
On this here little hike
through dark-age dirt and dust,
I broke my walking-pike.
On this here little hike,
I'd like my horse -- or bike!
I see some signs of rust
on this here little hike
through dark-age dirt and dust.
Signed sincerely yours truly
The end
*bows*
Gotta scram,
Thanks for being there,
Berto Magno