whup

whup, whup, whup,

whup, whup, whup,
tinkle, whup, whup,
whup, whup, tinkle

is the sound

. . . the whup of Regine's chain whip
whirling
in an umbrella pattern

as she stands tall in the stirrups

and the tinkle is the sound
of Regine's chain whip
intercepting arrows!

Rumble

. . . because we fucking ran into
a Swiss free company
at the river-crossing this afternoon

and the stoopid idiots decided
they wanted to rumble

I Can Hardly Type

Some Swiss guy hit me in the chest
with a hammer

my ribs are maybe broken

I'm still shaking

but I'm ok

and I really like you

Have I mentioned that?

Nobody got hurt badly

We Tried to Negotiate

We said they could cross the creek first

but they were just looking for a fight

All their archers strung up
and a couple started shooting

I yelled and told them
Regine would fight their Captain
One-on-One

Their Captain was a runty little guy

And Regine flipped him over
and stuck him into the riverbank
so hard
it took two guys
to pull him & his helmet out of the mud

So they let us pass.

And the one guy hammered me in my Kevlar vest
for no reason
as we walked by

We weren't even taunting them!

So Non-Chivalry

These Swiss guys were so non-chivalry
and it pissed me off
even worse
because we saw all that pure, noble
Song of Roland stuff last night
What a dope I am, right?

I'm OK don't worry