00:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) 01:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) PAUL ENTERS at 1:50 a.m. Sleepwalking PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Joan? Pssst! Joan! Joan, if . . . um . . . you get here a little early for the 8:30 meeting . . . might I have a quick word with you? PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) Anna . . . try this on for size. Paul imagines crawling through an Iowa August wheat field on his stomach . . . his arms matt the stalks, leaving a narrow trail with tall canyon sides . . . serpentine through the middle of nowhere . . . Anna, crawling, follows the trail, occasionally catching glimpse of his feet way ahead . . . she turns a sharp corner and finds a secret matted clearing Paul has prepared . . . 10' x 10' square . . . bright noonday sun, crickets and silence . . . red blanket, red wine, red plums, wheat bread, two pairs of sunglasses laid out ceremonially . . . PAUL EXITS at 1:51 a.m. In white nightshirt and pointy cap 02:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) 03:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) 04:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) 05:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) RICHARD L. "DICK" EVERETT, PRES. ENTERS at 5:27 a.m. Smiling & holding a steaming cup of coffee Hi? Damm it. RICHARD L. "DICK" EVERETT, PRES. EXITS at 5:29 a.m. 06:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) 07:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) 08:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) JOAN ENTERS at 8:12 a.m. Smiling & holding a steaming cup of coffee I am still asleep. This is all a dream. None of you exist. PAUL ENTERS at 8:39 a.m. Accompanied by disgruntled members of the International Brotherhood of Angels, Cherubs, & Seraphim (IBACS) holding picket signs Sorry. Cherubs on strike. It's wrecking my grand ceremonial entrance. JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Rubbing eyes A pleasant good marnin' to ye sirr. PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Hey, good to see you! Got time to chat a second? JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) N'problem. WARNING: Not a Morning Person PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) So . . . um . . . Wrings hands, shifts weight, finds no comfortable place to rest his gaze um . . . So I guess you know about the behind-the-scenes . . . . correspondence that is ongoing between me and Anna . . . JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) It has reached my consciousness, yes, my good knight . However, I have been vouchsafed no details --- PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) And now I'm . . . To himself: "No details?" Yes!!! Phew!!! High five me!!! Mops brow with relief. . . . and now I'm going to meet her Wednesday . . . and I wanted to know . . . JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) to know . . . ? PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) she's a girl, right? JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Laughs, despite her sleepiness PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) No, I mean . . . you know . . . Is there anything I should know about her? JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Besides the Tourrettes and the body odor? Naw --- not really. RICHARD L. "DICK" EVERETT, PRES. ENTERS at 8:50 a.m. Smiling & holding a steaming cup of coffee SAINT-CYR ENTERS at 8:52 a.m. Smiling & holding a steaming cup of coffee RICHARD L. "DICK" EVERETT, PRES. (Enthusiastically) Paul, dg dagmit, why do you change your Entry Description? I don t want you t o do that!!! abnd we really have to be ON TIME for these 8:30 meetings from now on!! JOAN (Enthusiastically) Good morning, Dick! SAINT-CYR (Enthusiastically) Good morning, Dick! PAUL (Enthusiastically) Good morning, Dick! RICHARD L. "DICK" EVERETT, PRES. (Enthusiastically) O K, let's get started we have a gbig day ahead of us ANNA ENTERS at 8:59 a.m. Sorry I'm late! RICHARD L. "DICK" EVERETT, PRES. (Enthusiastically) I was thinking overnight and I think i know where things went wrong in the meeting with Vanacek yesterday SAINT-CYR (Secret Note to ANNA; JOAN; PAUL) Oh, goody. Dick has been thinking. Oh, goody, goody. ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) Anna reaches for one of the pairs of wheatfield sunglasses and rolls onto her back, letting an arm flop across Paul's abdomen. She stretches and purrs. The shower of hot photons warms her black tank top and black shorts. Her other hand, like a spider, forages for the grapes, treading lightly across Paul's hand on the way. 09:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) RICHARD L. "DICK" EVERETT, PRES. (Enthusiastically) These wine guys atre business guys. Very verbal. Very numberical. Not very visual. PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) Paul uncorks the wine bottle with his Swiss army knife . . . grasps bottle by its butt and pours ever-so-slowly driplets into Anna's belly button . . . laughs and wipes wayward wine sweetly from her tummy . . . leans over to drink a belly-button shot . . . sets bottle, sits up stretches in the sun, whips off his white t shirt . . . JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Things you should know about Anna. Hmm. Well --- you know about TGIBS, don't you? RICHARD L. "DICK" EVERETT, PRES. (Enthusiastically) So, I thinkg to really get the historical fiction idea acrost we need to go very visual. Here's my big plan: PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) TGIBS? JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) "The Guy I've Been Seeing" (TGIBS) is what she calls him. He's apparently a hugely big doofus. PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Hugely big ? I guess size matters, after all Glances upward, sighs . . . glad no one can see his slightly sad expression PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Is TGIBS still an active account? RICHARD L. "DICK" EVERETT, PRES. (Enthusiastically) The plan: We;re to going to make new Virtual Conference Room of Tomorrow photo graphs of all of us in Renaissance Costume! So we can be quote "wearing" them on Friday during the big presentation!!!! JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Well, they did break up --- ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) She removes her top and tosses it into the wall of wheat. She stretches and rolls on the red blanket. Spies an enthusiastic ant motoring toward the bread. She coaxes the ant onto her finger and places it playfully on his chest. SAINT-CYR (Enthusiastically) Stunned silence. PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Paul takes a slightly deeper breath following Joan's information . . . slight smile JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) --- they did break up AGAIN (for the nth time) recently. PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Slight shoulder slump, slight wince at the completion of Joan's sentence ANNA (Enthusiastically) Wait, Dick . .. Really? Costumes? PAUL (Loudly) I second that stunned silence. ANNA (Enthusiastically) Dick, don't you think we got the message pretty strongly that they want to see some DIFFERENT 2nd Round ideas instead of the historical fiction concept? PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) He leans over with a mischievous bubbly grin and gives Anna a tongue kiss mouthful of wine . . . one hand grasps her waist . . . the other deftly guides the ant to her thigh . . . SAINT-CYR (Incredulously) Hello. The historical fiction idea was hated. PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) . . . Paul's third hand supports the back of her head to improve the solemn kissing angle . . . RICHARD L. "DICK" EVERETT, PRES. (Enthusiastically) They just can't see the full potendtial yet!!! Everyone is doing commercial web sites nowdays . . . but THIS will make them really stand out!! It's for their own good. SAINT-CYR Stand out? Stand out? We're sure to win the coveted Sore Thumb Award! PAUL (Enthusiastically) Dick . . . I know they said one idea . . . but let's at least have a fall-back position if they don't go historical . . . ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) Three hands, huh? Wanting sun all over her, she slides her shorts off and resumes kissing Paul. She rolls onto her side and rests a knee on his hip. PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) . . . while his hands numbers four and five quietly place tiny fresh strawberries on belgian chocolate wafers . . . garnish them with mint leaves . . . and slip them into the tongue poke wet kiss vortex . . . JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Anna does, actually, have a mean streak that everybody here except Dick has seen at least once. And how did you know I love Belgian chocolate? PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) oops did I send that Belgian chocolate your way? JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Ooooh. So that Belgian chocolate wasn't meant for me, huh? PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) . . . while his hands numbers four and five quietly place tiny fresh strawberries on belgian chocolate wafers . . . garnish them with mint leaves . . . and slip them into the tongue poke wet kiss vortex . . . PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Blushing vigorously So now, kind lady, you have been splashed by a small leak from the subterranean river of wordage that flows beneath Dick's noble castle. RICHARD L. "DICK" EVERETT, PRES. (Enthusiastically) Actually, it's a done deal!! I've got a phtographer in Chicago and one for you In St. Lous, Paul, both coming tomorrow with costumes!!! ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) She turns him on his back and elongates herself over him. Her kisses move slowly down his chin and throat . . . PAUL (Weakly) How thoughtful of you, Dick SAINT-CYR (Enthusiastically) Dick I entreat you. Pause. Reflect. Remember. Weigh. Ponder. Let your hopes for your corporation pass before your eyes. Decide ye NOT to photograph your staff in Medieval attire and show those photographs to our only --- oops, sorry --- our important client. PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) Red square of blanket and two bodies . . . Paul throws up a net of green camoflage material over their nest . . . kneels and bristles his short fuzzy hair down the length of her front . . . face to chest to tummy to hips to thighs to calves to feet . . . RICHARD L. "DICK" EVERETT, PRES. (Enthusiastically) Gog amn it! When I say it's a done deal, it's a donb deal! I don't reapplly appreciate any back-sass from you guys when we've got 3 days to pull together THE PRESENTATION OF A LIFETIME!! 1! ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) She feels the smooth stubble of his hair slide from her pectorals to her gray cotton sports bra to her abdominals to her gray cotton underwear to her quadriceps JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL: ANNA; SAINT-CYR) I get first dibs on ye olde conference table when ye companie goes bankrupt! I want it in my dininge roome. RICHARD L. "DICK" EVERETT, PRES. (Enthusiastically) Wheres the creative fire, people? I hired all of you because you're the best of the best, full of fire and gumption. Where's the fcuhghing GUMPTION?!?! SAINT-CYR (Secret Note to ANNA; SAINT-CYR; JOAN) Stands up, pats pockets, looks under chair Christ! Anybody seen my gumption? ANNA (Confidently) Don't worry, Dick, the team has got this under control. I'm thinking we offer the Historical Narrative approach with a fall-back position from the 2nd round ideas. PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) Sports bra, eh? Underwear, eh? Why, you . . . Paul's 6th and 7th hands frantically shuffle cards and deal a game of STRIP POKER . . . as he kisses a wine wet necklace around her slender neck . . . JOAN (Secret Note to ANNA; SAINT-CYR; JOAN) Ye merchant shipper down at ye harbour gives news that our GUMPTION is delayed in transit by the Cardinal's men. RICHARD L. "DICK" EVERETT, PRES. (Enthusiastically) AND DON'T THINK I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW important this is for the company!! Ask my wife how many friginong bottles of stomach goop I go through in a week!! my KID thinks the mail man is her Daddy, I'm never home so much!! ANNA (Enthusiastically) We've got it covered, Dick. I'll come to your office as soon as we're out of here and we'll plan it all out. RICHARD L. "DICK" EVERETT, PRES. (Enthusiastically) We should talkk about it here, Anna, in the Virtucal Conference Room of Tomorrow. We said we were gong to use it for this project. ANNA (Earnestly) Dick, we don't have TIME for the VCRoT! I'm coming to your office. PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA; SAINT-CYR; JOAN) Uniformed bellhop roams hotel lobby with inquisitive look & a sign reading GUMPTION ANNA (Waving Cheerfully) EXITS at 9:48 a.m. PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) How about this? Paul imagines deplaning at Chicago's O'Hare airport . . . scanning the waiting faces . . . heart pounding . . . wondering if he'll recognize Anna's face after seeing only tiny Virtual Conference Room pictures . . . There's Anna! . . . wearing a light trenchcoat and underneath it . . . ? JOAN (Secret Note to ANNA; SAINT-CYR; JOAN) Cavorts Frolicke, ye peasantes! Frolicke with gleee! PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Joan! Is Anna like . . . in a snit ? JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Oh, probably. SAINT-CYR (Secret Note to ANNA; SAINT-CYR; JOAN) Note to self: Control Anxiety. SAINT-CYR (Waving Cheerfully) EXIT at 9:53 a.m. JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Prithee, Paul, forgive me, but I'd better go listen in at Dick's door, since my fate for the next days depends --- JOAN (Waving Medievally) EXITS at 9:57 a.m. PAUL (Oblivious of the fact that he has a plastic strip with his pants size printed on it many times running up the back of his thigh to his keester) EXITS at 9:58 a.m. 10:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) PAUL (Just his eyes appear around the edge of the door) ENTERS at 10:47 a.m. Anna? PAUL (Forget this ever happened) EXITS at 10:48 a.m. 11:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) 12:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) ANNA ENTERS at 12:51 p.m. Smiling & holding a steaming cup of coffee ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) Paul? Hm. I don't really like that you ASSUME that I'm going to pick you up at the airport. I have a LIFE here outside of work, you know. She grabs his ears and pulls his Iowa sunwarmed head to her face. She kisses his forehead, his eyelids, his chin, his lips. ANNA (Waving Cheerfully) EXITS at 12:58 p.m. 13:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) PAUL ENTERS at 1:19 p.m. Thinking of nothing but his work PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) Anna? I just read your note. Woah, woah, woah! I've no expectations! Just excited to meet you in the flesh & blood, however it unfolds. He traces the outlines of her wheatfield sunwarmed lips with the very very very tip only of his tongue . . . PAUL EXITS at 1:27 p.m. 14:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) 15:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) ANNA ENTERS at 3:13 a.m. ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) Paul? She pulls Paul up onto his knees on the red Iowa blanket, sits him back on his heels straddles his thighs, wraps her arms around his shoulder blades, locks her ankles behind his coccyx. Then she unclenches and stretches back out on the warm red blanket. ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) I just read your note. This is going to be such a busy week, and I'm already SUPER STRESSED. And this project is so crucial to all our jobs that I'd hate to risk anything. ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) Anna lies in the sun, wrapped in a chiffon sheet, feeling with her palm the strong lines of Paul's calves . . . ANNA (Waving Cheerfully) EXITS at 3:40 p.m. PAUL (On pogo stick) ENTERS at 3:52 p.m. PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) Anna? Dag nab it! I JUST missed you. Paul gently and sexily wafts the chiffon sheet off of Anna with a deafening, 36 horsepower, gasoline fueled, back-mounted leaf blower . . . PAUL (Clad in black, creeping like a ninja) EXITS at 3:57 p.m. 16:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) ANNA ENTERS at 4:13 p.m. ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) Paul? The chiffon drifts off leaving Anna in only her red silk teddy. ANNA EXITS at 4:17 p.m. Waving cheerfully PAUL ENTERS at 4:28 p.m. In pursuit of a chihuahua puppy with a necktie in its mouth PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) Anna? Paul pulls layer after layer of clothing off of Anna like a Vegas magician pulling scarves . . . Missed you AGAIN! Let's try to meet here after 6:00 or so tonight? OK? PAUL EXITS at 4:38 a.m. Waves confidently, wheels & flings open door, strides into mop closet ANNA ENTERS at 4:45 p.m. Smiling & holding a steaming cup of coffee ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) Pau - aul! Paul pulls scarves to find nothing but bare blanket beneath. Suddenly, there is a giggle from the wall of wheat. Anna's face appears as she jumps. Her shoulders are bare, that's for sure. Is that a glimpse of dark aureola he spies above the wheat tassles? ANNA EXITS at 4:52 p.m. Waving cheerfully 17:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) PAUL ENTERS at 5:42 p.m. Can you say "Dracula Cape?" PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) Anna! R U here yet? No. I'll hang out. JOAN ENTERS at 5:49 p.m. Grinninge & grasping yon mugge of caffeine JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Good evening, handsome swain! PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Whipping his lace cuff into a clumsy bow Abast and abaft ye, matey! Shiver me tingler! Hi, I'm so glad you're here! How's Anna doing ? JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Curtseys smoothly She's totally gung-ho about the costumes idea. She's happy to have ANY decision so she can start preparing the presentation. --- and that's PIRATE you're doing, not MEDIEVAL, by the way. PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Blushes, twists toe in the dirt No I mean: How's she doing about ME? JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Pwobwems, Belgian Chocolate Boy? Tell Auntie Joan AAAAALLLL about it. PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Shrugging . . . hands in pockets . . . Oh, you know . . . the usual cybersituation . . . I'm describing suave debonair advances . . . she's describing ingenious escapes . . . JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Perchance it's something about thy style --- what are you pretending to wear? PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Reaches quickly for fig leaf. I'm not pretending anything. 18:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) It's definitely thy style, my man. Viz: Reading from Paul's afternoon message "tongue poke wet kiss vortex" huh? Where dost thou find this stuff? PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Blushes to the roots of his hair. I find it in Delasinge's Universal Dictionary of Sweet Nothings! I don't know! Jeesh! Cuttest thou me some slack! ANNA ENTERS at 6:06 p.m. Smiling & holding a steaming cup of coffee PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Here she is! PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) Here you are! Paul plunges into the wheat toward where he last saw Anna jump . . . He's laughing, wearing only scarlet boxers . . . JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Joan melts discreetly into ye backgrounde. ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) I can't fucking BELIEVE this place! The only time I can get any work done is at NIGHT when my phone's not ringing every TWO MINUTES. Anna hears Paul chasing her through the wheat. She circles back on her hands and knees (wheat stalks brushing her bare breasts) and bursts through the wheat wall onto the red blanket again. Thinks: "He'll never find me here." PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) Like I said this afternoon, no problem about the airport . . . I was actually counting on taking a cab. I'm just excited to meet you. I . . . um . . . well . . . er . . . I actually think about you approx. 213-217 times a day, you know . . . and that figure contains only Conscious Thoughts, mind you, with the innumerable Subconscious Associations factored out . . . ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) Anna slips her thumbs into the waistband of her underwear. She pushes up with her feet to raise her gluteals off the blanket. PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) In fact . . . uh . . . I'd venture to say I'm a lil' bit in love with you. ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) Oh JESUS! Not the "L" word! PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) "lil' ?" Sorry. You do not like contractions, eh? Fair enough. ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) Paul Shit You don't know what you're TALKING about! The "L" word there's no time for the "L" word there hasn't been enough time anyway come on it's out of the QUESTION. PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) Stranger things have happened. ANNA (Secret Note to ANNA) What people do with our bodies and any kind of real SOUL POSSESSION with another person are two separate things! I do NOT buy this monogamous flowers-and-chocolate soul-mates crap! That's a lie they tell to sell movie tickets. I will sleep with whoever I want, whenever . . . whatever! But it doesn't mean ANYONE OWNS ME. PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) Paul puts his Iowa sunwarmed hand on Anna's shoulder. Wow, sweet Anna. What happened to you? Who hurt you? ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) I do not need to be PSYCHOLOGIZED! Everybodys always trying to get into my head! I studied psychology, too. I am a psychological REALIST. Our society tells us that dependence is a good thing, that people need to be dependent and controlled by one soul-mate their whole life. And psychologically that works for a lot of people. But I DON'T BUY it. Shocked? Most people freak. Or dump me when they hear it. But I've been over THAT for a LONG TIME. People do what they have to do. PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) Offering Anna a Ginger Ale from the cooler on the Iowa red blanket Wow. Sorry to hear that. Um. Still . . . a person can choose to be nice to another person . . . to care what happens to them, right? For example, I like being nice to you. ANNA (Secret Note to PAUL) I don't know why you'd bother being nice. PAUL (Secret Note to ANNA) He begins to massage her neck as she lies on the red blanket. It's no bother, Anna. ANNA EXITS at 6:38 p.m. Waving cheerfully I've got work to do! JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Joan tiptoes into the recently vacated room So: did you two get everything sorted out? PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) OH yeah. PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) So tell me something hypothetical, my goodly Joan. Say you were a woman. Wouldst thou then subscribe to the notion, quote: "I do NOT buy this monogamous flowers-and-chocolate soul-mates crap! That's just a lie they tell to sell movie tickets." JOAN (Secret Note to JOAN) THIS is the philosophie thou hast been hearing from her? Yipes. She hath quite an attitude. Although I haven't had dinner and "chocolate crappe" is sounding mightie tastie right now. PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Flattering himself not an utter dupe. I flatter myself that I'm not an UTTER dupe to society's cynical machinations . . . but some level of real contact between people . . . some kind of open caring and blah blah blah is POSSIBLE, right? JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) The man believes in love. PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Arrrgh! THERE you go! You HAD to go say the "L" word! JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Ah! We have a problem with the "L" word, have we? PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Seems that it's not as popular in some quarters as in years past . . . PERSONALLY, I have not much prob . . . JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) There are a few isolated patches of resistance --- some believers yet --- PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Isolated CHUMPS, some would argue . . . JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) If Chumpes we be, then I say: "Chumpe On!" PAUL (Secret Note to JOAN) Right you are, lass! "Chumpe On!" "Chumps Ahoy!" . . . and on THAT note . . . I must needs to splitsky . . . bye . . . JOAN (Secret Note to PAUL) Fulle Chumpe Ahead! g'night! PAUL EXITS at 6:58 p.m. Chumping feverishly JOAN EXITS at 6:59 p.m. Waving cheerfully 19:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) 20:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) 21:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) 22:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect) 23:00 hours CST (Daylight savings time in effect)