robwit.net

Wittig's
Inane Protest Provokes Scorn and Hilarity

Numerous Species Join in Disbelief of Northern Buffoon Blogger's Idiocy

ACADEMICIAN VERNATSKIY STATION, ANTARCTICA ---A handsome spokesbird for IAPE (Intelligent, Attractive Penguins Everywhere) respnded yesterday to the reaction of Northland blogger Roger Wittig to the latest issue of the Teeny Tiny Times.
This so-called "Wittig" is clearly a creature of low intellect, and even lower cultural discernment. Why, his comments did not even mention the extraordinary physical comeliness of penguins."

Computers
Not Needed Whatsoever for a Satisfying Life

Penguins in Particular Found to Thrive Without Pesky Machines

MAWSON STATION, ANTARCTICA ---Why would a creature situated on a beautiful ice sheet nearby open water with abundant fishing ever need a personal computer, throughtful penguins ask themselves.
Computers seem to be largely useful for perching on, depending upon their design, or for admiring one's lovely plumeage --- but only if the the screen is not illuminated.
Computer screens that have images shining out from their insides are quite poor at reflecting one's beak and eyes, experiments have shown.

Penguin Dolls Selling Well Worldwide, Despite Poor Likeness

Clumsy Sewing No Deterrent to Appealing Species' Huge Popularity

ACADEMICIAN VERNATSKIY STATION, ANTARCTICA --- A penguin economist and champion fish catcher today released figures proving that penguins are among the best-selling cute animal toys upon the whole globe. The penguin in question cuts a fine figure himself, to turn a phrase.
It appears that penguins sell well primarly among human beings, although some data supports the contention that ferrets also are fans of the gorgeous flightless birds. Of course ferrets may have less than noble intentions when

it comes to penguins, don't you know. A ferret, in general can only be trusted as far as it can be thrown. And let's not even get started about human beings. Two footed, two handed, and two-faced --- that about sums up humans.

North America is a Ridiculous Place to Live, Most Sensible Creatures Insist

"It's So Obvious it Hardly Bears Repeating," Expert Relates

NOVALAZAROVSKAYA STATION, ANTARCTICA ---Who would ever want to live where it is Winter during summertime! What idiots! How can they catch any fish?
When one thinks of a typical, moronic Northern Hemisphere-dweller, one's mind natturally goes to the absurdly tall and thin Rog Wittig. A buffoon if ever one wanted to see one.
And see one one may, right on Wittig's dumb blog, every day for the whole world to see. It's preposterous!