November 03, 2005

scrollin'

  ROB stands before the big flatscreen in the VisLab at UMD and takes a big breath before today's lunchtime lecture.  

So . . .

. . . the scrolls I've been doing draw their inspiration, in part from vertical things like:

The misty centerline and sightline grandeur of Fan K'uan.
Under "Exhibitions," under "Painting" see "Travelers Among Mountains and Streams."

The fabulous handwriting of Su Shih (aka Su Tung Po).
Under "Scholar Art", look at Su Shih's "Former Ode on the Red Cliff"

The pacing and drama, in black and white, of Hsia Kuei.
Under "Exhibitions," under "Painting" see "Remote View of Hills and Streams," click to get pop-up window; scroll right-to-left

The dreamy detail and silky emergence from the fog of Ch'iu Ying.
Under "Exhibitions," under "Painting" see "Spring Morning in the Han Palace." click to get pop-up window; scroll right-to-left

In this context see my own meager El Dorado (horizontal), and Blue Company (vertical).

Posted by rob at 08:40 AM

September 22, 2005

natural disasters and faith

 

ROB pauses at the top of the exterior spiral staircase of the Swenson building, and watches the ripples on the pond below

 

"Allah is really angry," said a friend as we watched the fearful symmetry of Hurricane Rita consolidating and moving relentlessly --- at a jogger's pace --- toward the gulf coast.

Natural disasters will either affirm one's faith or rock it, but they won't leave it alone.

The great Lisbon Earthquake of 1755 was a key event in the history of the Enlightenment, and was called by some critics "the end of optimism." Every thinker took a side, many concluding that the event was evidence of a failure of authority ---- specifically the failture of the supreme diety's benevolence or his power.

How will our culture spin this double hit of category fives? And it's not even the gnarly part of hurricane season --- that is October.

Posted by rob at 08:55 AM

September 21, 2005

navigation without sacajawea

 

ROB huffs and puffs his way up four flights of Med School stairwell.

 

Follow Moose and Squirrel to the new Swenson Sci . . . I mean . . . follow Moose and Buffalo to the new Swenson Science Building!

When you sight these fine beasts, you are almost at the narrow skybridge, and your journey (to my classroom in the fab new lab) is near its end.

"Navigation" is such a frequently-used metaphor in web design. But, as I tell my students . . . at some point we must remember that we're just sitting here in front of a screen . . . we're not "going" anywhere . . . the vast copy machine of the wwweb is simply sending us copies.

So when we find ourselves with true navigation tribulations it is instructive.

Our classes meets in the new Swenson Science building. Where is the new Swenson Science building anyway? I can see it when I drive by . . . but how the heck do you get there?

When you start to see signs like this one, you know there's a navigation issue . . .

. . . so many helpful souls putting up vernacular signage to try to assist the wayward scholar . .

.

And perhaps loveliest of all, this provocative warning:

"Foot Traffic Only" . . . what, have people been bringing their horses into the new building?

Posted by rob at 11:21 AM

September 06, 2005

a jumping-in point (to the blogoverse)

 

ROB stands and addresses his class in the fabulous new J.I. Swenson Science Building

 

Hi there! Well . . .

. . . if you want to take an efficient introduction to the world of blogging . . .

take a look at this

http://www.electricmist.net/

then see some more Katrina blogs at

http://www.cyberjournalist.net/news/002862.php

then bookmark this (it will be a required text this semster)

http://jilltxt.net/

. . . then take a quick look at these, and follow up a few links on each of them . . .

http://www.michaelberube.com/

http://www.antropologi.info/blog/

http://classroomconnection.blogspot.com/

http://www.thestage.co.uk/newsblog/

http://mbaleague.blogspot.com/

http://www.upforanything.net/poker/

 

Posted by rob at 07:51 AM

April 20, 2005

wizard of air waves

When I arrived for the first of my interviews of the remarkable Leif Brush --- Professor (of conceptual and sound art) Emeritus --- he had five (5), count 'em, fünf (cinq) microphones set up on the table, microphones from different decades, a history of postwar radio and recording.

The jewel of his mic collection in my eyes, the old RCA double-diamond-shape; how beautiful!

 
 

I was asking him about his adventures in radio --- in the Army, as a "tape reporter" in the '50s & '60s splicing news reports with a razor blade and sending them to the station from the mobile VW bus --- and I was enthralled with the answers.

Radio is the other half . . . the hidden half . . . of my inspiration for writing (the more obvious half being the visual/verbal intersection between graphic design and writing.)

My lifelong love of radio is what gives me a sense of the musical/temporal beauties of serial literature . . . effects that reveal themselves in episodes over days, weeks, months,

Leif's sensibility to radio is so resonant with mine . . . a love of the sheer connectivity of networks: he describes with glee the moment in the old days when the entire NBC radio network would switch from originating a broadcast in New York to originating one in San Francisco . . . the gorgeous series of clicks as operators manually unplugged and replugged big-ass, olde-school regional switchboards . . . the original web,

 
Posted by rob at 02:35 PM

April 05, 2005

catch of the day

My solution to the seemingly perennial money troubles of the Great Lakes Aquarium?

Simple! Just turn the aquarium into a first class fish restaurant!

 Arrrgh! Dinner time at
Cap'n Crappie's Fish Shack

 Try the fresh walleye special!

The place is in a great location, it's got great architecture . . .

. . . and the sweet part is you wouldn't have to buy any inventory for the first two weeks, at least!

Posted by rob at 01:25 PM

March 29, 2005

spray it, don't say it

 

ROB leans over an electric hand dryer in an institutioal restroom, SCRATCHING its label-plate with a HOUSEKEY.

 

I'm hearing about British graffitti artist Banksy on all sides these days.

Quite a nice stir he caused by insinuating some nice, small pieces of his own work into A-list Manhattan museums recently. These minor coups are listed on his website modestly under "Exhibitions." My museology sources muse that there's likely to have been inside help for the Bankster . . . who has a typically tortured, love/hate relationship with the idea of official fame.

 

ROB leans back from the hand dryer to admire his craftsmanship.

Under the printed words WORLD DRYER he has neatly scratched the words: HANDS WETTER.

 
Posted by rob at 09:32 AM

March 26, 2005

travel blog in pen & ink

I'm excited about this book: Carnet de Voyage, by Craig Thompson.

 

Thompson penned (or brushed, rather . . . he draws & writes with a brush) the quite-popular graphic novel Blankets. This book begins, as so many exciting works do, with a disclaimer. He says:

"This is not "the Next Book," but rather a self-indulgent side-project --- a simple travel diary drawn while I was traveling through Europe and Morocco from march 5th to May 14th, 2004."

What I love about this book is that by being a "simple travel diary" Thompson slips out from under the obligation to have a consistent narrative voice and narrative style. Some pages are narrative, others are just drawings. He pictures himself realistically sometimes, & cartoonlike sometimes when he wants a bit of emotional distance, or for other complex emotional reasons.

Style-wise he can turn on a dime, he can go anywhere from anywhere. Hey, it's just a travel diary. That stylistic flexibility is great --- just what language arts needs right now. We do it in speaking all the time. Some postmodern writers do it in a ponderous, pompous, laborious way. Thompson does it in a way that is soooo light, so appropriate to the moment.

Plus, it's a very powerful effect to see portraits drawn from life while conversing with the subject. Knowing that about an image changes it, right?

Posted by rob at 04:02 PM

March 25, 2005

spring break moment: classical architecture

Walking around the giant, illuminated marble dome of the Wisconsin State Capital
 
     
 
 

 

   
     
     
     
     
     

(with it's gold statue of "Mrs. Rennebaum" --- a student joke of years a-gone; Rennenbaum's being the big, local drugstore chain)

just before dusk turned to night, under a near-full moon, laughing and telling stories.

Posted by rob at 03:39 PM

March 22, 2005

spring break moment: swank lobby

The fabulous lobby of the Julien Hotel in Dubuque is a dim, dark, '30s-movie-style classic --- deep carpet, a once-bubbling fountain, cracked leather furniture, ferns to hide behind, a barbershop, and a German cellar restaurant (once a speakeasy?) down the velvety stairs.

Chicago gangster Al Capone used to retreat across the Mississippi to flee Illinois warrents and stay here, the college kid at the desk told us. He laughed when we asked if there was a room available. The place was a ghost town.

Above the front desk is an incredible hi-tech (for it's day) electric display that once shone your room number if you had a message. What messages in its heyday? "Your illegal hooch has arrived from Canada?" "Should we send up the usual girls?" "Mr. Jones is indisposed."

Posted by rob at 03:30 PM

March 20, 2005

spring break moment: Mississippi curry

The Sunshine and Salad Tour began over astonishingly good (& cheap) curried lamb & beef, and poached salmon at the Harbor View Inn in Pepin, WI ("Lake Pepin, part of the Mississippi River" as the town's web slogan proudly proclaims).

J's glass of white wine glowed golden for 5 minutes in a single strand of sunlight that travelled 150 million kilometers for that sole purpose.

The sky was frosty blue, the shadows long, the banks still snowy, the river dark and fast.

Posted by rob at 10:14 PM

March 03, 2005

thanks for the great advice

'wordsman! Dude! How come I've never heard this story before?
Posted by rob at 04:52 PM

February 18, 2005

boxing, america, and the genius of mark burnett

robholdair.gif

So I've got a bunch of dots, but I can't connect them.

The dots encompass a major theme of the American Psyche . . . and a Briton who sees it better than we do.

The theme is boxing . . . or at least it looks like boxing.

The Briton is ex-paratrooper, ex-Hollywood nanny Mark Burnett -- producer of TV's reality show smash hits Survivor, The Apprentice and, now, The Contender.

Starting with his Eco-Challenge series --- which follows teams in an endurance race as they tremble, vomit, bleed, exhort and weep their way through gorgeous landscapes --- Mark Burnett has emerged as a minor genius at telling TV stories of competition that gleefully trigger fists-full of mythic echoes.

 

Another dot is likely Oscar Grand Champeen Million Dollar Baby, a relationship movie in a boxing setting say critics, about a grizzled old trainer and his reluctant help to an aspiring female fighter.

Two more dots are the recent documentaries aired on PBS about heavyweight champions Jack Johnson and Joe Louis.

Johnson the unapologetic black champion who joked in the ring and strutted like a peacock outside it in the dawn of the 20th century, notorious for dating white women, and whose victory in the "fight of the century" sparked race riots all over America.

Louis the quiet man, the new black champion, determined not to repeat Johnson's "mistakes,"surprised and defeated by Hitler's favorite, Max Schmeling, and then victorious over Schmeling in "The Fight," a rematch touted to settle the "supremacy of the races" question once and for all, a fight followed avidly on radio on both sides of the Atlantic.

A final, personal dot, a line of my own, penned during the Rude Trip Hamburg/Chicago Literary Expedition project as I looked at my upbringing through foreign eyes: "In America you're born with boxing gloves; what I want is hands."

So what to make of all this?

First, the genius of Burnett.

"Both The Apprentice and Survivor have something in common," says Burnett in a Hollywood Reporter interview, "which is dealing with the emotional pull that all humans feel from being excluded from something. That's done through either being voted off, in the case of Survivor, or being fired in Apprentice. . . . I'm a huge fan of Joseph Campbell. Both of those shows take that feeling of exclusion to a level of death. When you're fired, or in the case of Survivor, when the torch goes out, it's like being killed."

OK, so the man has a sense of the psychology of fear. But there's more. Much more,

Survivor and The Apprentice are morality plays, witting and unwitting. In Survivor, the one person not voted off the "desert island" by peers wins a million bucks. In The Apprentice, the one person not fired by Donald Trump wins a job working for him. If you call that winning.

Survivor, with its alliances and strategies, its ploys and double-crosses, is a morality play that opposes money and personal relationships --- the same dynamic that plays out in millions of American lives every day.

The Apprentice, with it's business-esque tasks and petulant meetings in the board room, is a morality play about pleasing a fickle boss, whose absolute and whimsical power is unquestioned. Also, obviously, the exact world in which most working people live.

The major technical achievement of Burnett (besides the love of helicopter shots he got from his Eco-Challenge days, and his sweet tooth for ritual and catchphrase --- "Tribe has Spoken; It's Time for You To Go " "You're fired") is the editing of his "unscripted dramas" as he calls the genre. Part of his genius lies in hiring clearly outstanding producers and editors, who build dramas out of tiny facial expressions, perfect cuts, red-herring clues, and a quiverful of brilliant visual tactics.

"In Survivor," says Burnett, "we go to the audacity of blue lighting on a long pathway. You're disappearing into the blue light (when castaways are voted off the show). These are the emotional hooks the audience relates to. . . . (After) someone is voted off each week, typically the lighting comes back to orange-y from blue, and (host) Jeff (Probst) will say, 'We'll see you tomorrow.' The tribe is living on. It's death and rebirth. That's totally what I'm operating off of, those belief systems."

 

robshrug.gif

roblookup.gif

But what is the morality tale that will be triggered by the new Burnett show, The Contender, a boxing show hosted by iconic Sylvester Stallone of the iconic Rocky films? What story is waiting to tell itself through the capable hands of medium Burnett.

Is the story the vaunted "purity" of boxing . . . the idea that bullshit gets left outside the ring and that, within the squared circle, one person clearly bests another person . . . without all the ambiguity and spun retellings of the rest of life?

Is the story the pure cruelty and catharsis of blood sport? The explicit purpose of boxing, after all, is to cause head trauma. Is it merely a legitimatized outlet for all that American anger? Anger about the American Dream's promise that you could be somebody, and you turned out to be nobody. This, of course, is the theme of Kazan's On the Waterfront, reprised almost word for word in Rocky and the promotion for The Contender.

Is the story a class story, but not the rags-to-riches one it thinks it's telling? Is it a class story about the time when, once the basic resources of our Island Earth have been divided, Survivor-style, and the task of managing them for their owners has been apportioned, Apprentice-style, all that's left to us losers is to fight to be the entertainer of the moment American Idol-style or Contender-style?

Is a boxing champion still a somebody these days? After the disgraceful. ear-biting, prison-bound, mental illness of a Mike Tyson? Or is a boxing champion merely a historical type, entirely mythic, an archaic ideal of a somebody, based on golden-age movies?

Is it a story about training and hard work? Jogging and dieting, working nights and weekends? In Burnett's tales, success is kind of about hard work . . . but only kind of. His fierce supervision over the casting of his unscripted dramas is the final component of his genius --- the ground rules are tilted toward larger-than-life personalities and more-gorgeous-than-life bodies.

The real competition in Burnett's universe is in the casting, and it is over by the time filming starts. Training and hard work? No. Training and hard work plus luck-of-the-draw genes? Yes.

Is it a story about luck, then, about gambling? Protestant predestination?

Is it a story about social skills and getting along in a diverse society? Not if the producers can help it. Burnett's "tribes" are assembled according to a screenwriters' psycho-demographic typology ("embattled single mom," "belligerant ex-marine with a heart of gold" "innocent farm girl") for their volatility and their likelihood to produce the screen 's two favorite moments --- the perennial Oscar-winning scenes --- yelling and sobbing.

Is it a gender story, like Million Dollar Baby, helping America get its mind around all the female soldiers engaged in combat right now in Iraq?

Or is the story simply that we Americans are culturally, mythically, doomed to fight? That we are perennial sore losers? (And we'd better get used to losing, as the Chinese Century begins.)

Dunno.

Yet.

Shall we watch The Contender together and see if we can connect the dots?

Posted by rob at 12:20 PM

February 16, 2005

minutes of tuesday's literary lunch in exile

 

11:56 A jolly kitchen guy comes up to 'wordsman, holding two artichokes. 'wordsman considers and indicates the left one with a nod. 'wordsman grinds ink.

12:04 Rob enters showing off his giant wolf-fur hat. 'wordsman says: "I knew that wolf." 'wordsman sure is a consumer buzz-kill, says Rob. Can an owl kill a wolf?

12:07 Allen sits down, still on the phone. 'wordsman and Rob mimic a lover's quarrel for the background of Allen's phone call. Allen waves wildly, "Stop it! Stop it!"

 
 

12:10 Ten times the usual number of owls are in town, due to some freakish Canadian climate binge. Rob says the owls're selling prescription drugs at reduced prices. 'wordsman says owls are smarter than that, they'd do it on the web.

12:12 She's on her way, says Allen. Who's on her way? Didn't they get Allen's e-mail? Marla, the Unknown's agent is passing through from the cities. No, they didn't get Allen's e-mail. Damned spam owls, with their Vaii_gra; they're wrecking e-mail for everyone.

12:16 'wordsman juices up his brush and begins a quick ricepaper painting of a wolf and an owl. Marla reportedly is upset at always being at the fictional beck and call of the Unknown. She's trying to have a vacation for once and the boys keep tracking her down at every motel. Do owls need V_aia_gra?

12:22 The kitchen guy brings 'wordsman artichokes, mussels, wild rice with fresh cranberries and clementine oranges. Where's that on the menu?! It's not on the menu.

12:23 Rob allows how it's odd that Marla should seek to escape the Unknown by lunching with Rob --- since he's a some-time Unknown affiliate. That's Marla all over, says Allen --- pretending to hate the attention, but craving it at the same time.

12:30 The wolf is definitely getting the better of the owl in 'wordsman's painting. Can a wolf kill an owl? It's a viscious e-mail-wrecking spam owl, don't get all outragey.

12:34 Marla blows in. How can you guys stand this climate? Look at what she's wearing. That's a template for a coat, not a real coat. Marla says The Unknown suck; Marla's refuses to be slave.

12:38 Rob: cheeseburger. Allen: veggie plate. Rob says Allen is not fat. Allen feels fat. How come 'wordsman gets this fabulous stuff that's not on the menu? It's all about relationships, says 'wordsman.

12:43 Why doesn't Marla quit? Walk away from the Unknown and kiss 'em goodbye. Kick 'em goodbye, says Allen. She can't do that; point of honor. Allen tells Marla she's hopelessly stuck. Rob: "What are you getting from all this abuse? There has to be some psychic payoff, or you wouldn't stick with it. Does it give you something to gripe about?" This totally sets Marla off --- volcanic. Rob is just like the Unknown --- clueless!

12:50 Frosty silence. The kitchen guy prepares a flaming dessert for 'wordsman, tableside. What is that? How does 'wordsman rate the flaming dessert? Rob just a typical guy, says Marla, loathefully.

12:56 'wordsman gets a separate check; hands it back with his wolf and owl painting; no cash. Allen needs to test his e-mail. Marla huffs off with Allen to go ice fishing. Get a better coat! Rob foots the tab.

 
Posted by rob at 05:22 PM

February 03, 2005

connoisseurs of alertness

 

ROB sits at his DESK with FRENCH RADIO streaming from the WEB and SUNLIGHT streaming from the BALCONY DOOR. He HUMS GOOFILY.

 

Sleep deprivation, right?

We know it's a big problem . . . motor impairment as bad as being drunk . . . cause of X0,000 highway deaths blah blah . . . high school and college students developmentally needing more than nine hours per night and averaging just over six. "Walking zombies" Cornell sleep scientist James Maas calls them.

And we all know the emotional symptoms, right? Irritability, edginess, inability to tolerate stress, problems with concentration and memory, behavioral, learning or social problems.

Duh, right?

But it wasn't until a good psychologist friend said . . .

 
PSYCHOLOGIST FRIEND
 
 
After all these years I'm finally realizing that sleep is the biggest single factor in my mood. I see it directly --- after a decent night's sleep I feel happier. It's ridiculously simple.
 

. . . that it finally hit home for me.

All the fuss and bother people go to fix themselves up with feelgood drugs --- licit and illicit --- could better be spent by creating a cult of sleep . . . sleep as a drug.

But not sleep itself . . . not a subculture of 'jammies and dreams and puffy pillows.

No, a neurochemistry subculture of the day after a decent sleep. Sleep as the shooting up; resilience as the rush. Wine lovers with a palate for premium Z's. Connoisseurs of alertness.

 
FIRST SLEEP USER
 
 
(Knocks head with fist.)
 
 

Dang, man . . . I am soooooo rested!

 
 
SECOND SLEEP USER
 
 
Oh gawd, tell me about it. I'm remembering fricking everything today . . . everything! Names, dates, stuff I'm supposed to do: boom, boom, boom! Right there. And the stuff I'm supposed to do . . .
 
 
FIRST SLEEP USER
 
 
I know, man, I know . . .
 
 
SECOND SLEEP USER
 
 
. . . the stuff I'm supposed to do, I don't even feel guilty about it. I just feel . . . normal . . . like it's no big deal.
 
 
FIRST SLEEP USER
 
 
I knew you were going to say that! I knew you were going to say that! I was feeling the same exact thing. It's freaky, man.
 
Posted by rob at 12:11 PM

January 18, 2005

same ol' new ol'

  Only ROB's EYES show between his SCARF pulled up and his HAT pulled down. His VOICE is MUFFLED.  

So how is America doing?

The test results have come back and . . . well . . . .

the news is grim in the Winter of '05. . .

the drugs have run out

(both presecription and illicit)

it's bone on bone in America

a monkey is on the throne in America

cold times have descended on America.

So what does one do?

One looks to Nature for guidance and reassurance . . . right?

To find balance and har moe neee.

W.D.N.S.? What Does Nature Say?

Take a sharp breath. Look outside for comfort.

The sun is in the sky,

the cloud is on the . . . WHAT TH !?

 

The cloud is on the lake!

minus26.JPG

The freaking cloud has fallen like a freaking rock
and is sitting on the freaking lake!

It's 26 degrees below zero and the cloud is too cold to fly.

Ten four, Nature! Message received!

"What's down is up, what's up is done."

By afternoon the cloud gives up the ghost, and the South Shore is visible again . . .

minus2.JPG

. . . with the factories pumping out the ol' noxious . . . and the harbor frozen solid.

It's back to the same ol' new ol'.

Posted by rob at 08:42 AM

January 11, 2005

nature is competitive, all right

  Still wearing a LOUD TROPICAL SHIRT, and FLIP-FLOPS (from the recent election) ROB steps onto the FRONT PORCH into the MINUS-ELEVEN-DEGREE-FAHRENHEIT morning air.  

And the Northland got so jealous of our all the attention we paid the beauties of the South West Desert landscape . . .

. . . it's been outdoing itself to produce mindbendingly spectacular sunrises since we got back.

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Gotta keep nature on its toes. Work it! Work it, that's right!

Posted by rob at 04:30 PM

snapshots of winter break

  ROB, by now SUSPICIOUS of ALL OF NATURE, whirls in the Sonoran Desert of Arizona and POINTS EMPHATICALLY.  

See!

See, I was right! That saguaro cactus is giving me the finger!

I am not imagining things!

az4.JPG
 

CUT TO

ROB, driving through a HIGH DESERT PASS.

 

Look!

The rain is hitting that odd castle-like stone on purpose to spook me . . . or it's an advertising ploy for the movie Phantom of the Opera!

Like I always say --- nature is a vast advertising scheme!

az8.JPG

 

CUT TO

ROB, driving through a HIGH DESERT PASS.

 

Look!

The rain is hitting that odd castle-like stone on purpose to spook me . . . or it's an advertising ploy for the movie Phantom of the Opera!

Like I always say --- nature is a vast advertising scheme!

<az8.JPG

az7.JPG

Our mission: through our magical presence, to bring much needed relief from 8 years of drought to the suffering South-West of our nation.

Mission: accomplished!

Record rainfall continues to pour on the Los Angeles region.

Here, left, a break in the clouds at fabulous Laguna Beach.

 

Bewildered cumuli roam skies Lake Pleasant, Arizona (artificial), looking for a place to leak , and embarrassing the hills with shade. az1.JPG
az3.JPG

 

Show-offy saguaro cactus busting a gut to get our attention at Lake Pleasant (man-made).

 

Come on!

Have some dignity.

az5.JPG
az6.jpg

 

Palm trees take an extravagantly long time in line at the coffee shop in Blythe California . . .

 

. . . fumbling for change.

Posted by rob at 04:20 PM

January 09, 2005

Voice Recognition Poetry

  You find ROB laughing out loud at his computer. He TURNS TO YOU and reads aloud from the E-MAIL ON HIS SCREEN.  

Here's a new form of poetry!

Voice recognition poetry!

And I Quote:

"They guys she's said that she know that this gets in new voice recognition software. It doesn't work very well as. But some how it's more interesting and if you were working. In that I go off the dependent. I am not drunk I have not been drinking this is just me being completely normal. But instead of writing and speaking if you haven't gotten that yet. I this place recognition has long way to go."

Wow!

It's my friend Kip. Being completely normal. Yeah. In that he goes off the dependent . . . as he himself states.

I want me some voice recognition software!

As the great Kip Swehla once said . . . er, wrote . . . er . . . said:

"Coalition were Oscar Mayer wean your
Vet is what it truly like to be
Possessed by war last dear Meyer wean your
Every one would be in love with me."

Posted by rob at 02:15 PM

October 22, 2004

e-mail novels; paper scrolls

  ROB stands back a few yards from the wall of the Tweed Museum of Art where two LONG PAPER SCROLLS bearing two messages from HIS E-MAIL NOVEL, Blue Company hang on the wall. He TURNS TO YOU and says . . .  

The same week the exhibition containing paper scrolls from Blue Company opened, Vika sends me the URL of this e-mail novel, Daughters of Freya. Mystery! Sex! Attractive price point! ($7.49 US; $9.99 Canadian) Good for them! Looks interesting.

Posted by rob at 07:09 AM

October 15, 2004

e-novelist's notebook: mama's boys

  ROB cradles his cup of coffee while the FIRST SNOWFLAKES of the season CAVORT in a BLAST OF OCTOBER SUNRISE.  

I'm fascinated by sea-changes in demographics in our time . . .like the phenomenon of "mammoni" (mama's boys) in Italy --- an increase to nearly a third of men under 35 who prefer to live at home in the care of their mothers rather than move out and form permanent relationships.

According to one source, in Italy "Interference by mothers in their sons’ relationships causes 36% of breakups, compared to 25% in Germany and 18% in France."

Very low birthrates have Italian officials worried.

Another little tidbit was added to this social portrait the other morning in a National Public Radio report by Sylvia Poggioli in which she cited figures that Italian men are much less likely than their northern European or North American counterparts to help with household tasks and child care, and that this was contributing to the unwillingness of Italian women to have children.

Posted by rob at 08:36 AM

October 14, 2004

Our Story So Far

  ROB STIFLES A COUGH and beams a big smile.  

r17.jpgYeeesh!

Well, I guess I'm actually back.

Here's Our Story So Far . . . what's been happening while I've been Oh You Tea OUT of commission.

Allen amazingly has kept up his relationship --- long distance and all --- with Liselot . . . even after the embarrasing incident you can read below in these pages, They're flying cross country every couple of weeks to see each other. You never can tell!

'wordsman and Beverly are finishing up an intense creative retreat in the desert of the American Southwest. 'wordsman sent me a paper letter through surface mail, covered with drawings and raving about the music he and Beverly are writing. We'll hear it when they return.

Me? I'm teaching and making scrolls . . . 3 to 5 meter tall printed versions of messages from my novel in e-mail Blue Company.

And devising new versions of my personal mark masks.gif the two tragedy masks.

Posted by rob at 03:34 PM

October 08, 2004

*cough*

  ROB is propped up in BED  

Don't worry!

Just a few more days of rest and I'm going to be just *cough*

*cough* *cough* *cough*

*cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough*

Posted by rob at 07:47 PM

October 02, 2004

I think I'm finally *cough* over it

  ROB RISES UNSTEADILY from a GIANT ARMCHAIR, setting down a cup of HERBAL TEA.  

Hokey, smokes, Bullwinkle! This *cough* *cough* this cold has turned into bronc *cough* bronc *cough* broncough *cough*r5.jpg

  ROB covers his mouth and WAVES.  

bronc *cough* *cough*

bronchitis!

*cough*

But I'm back and ready to pick up the story of my blough *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough*

*cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough*

Posted by rob at 07:43 PM

September 20, 2004

Here I *cough* am!

  ROB notices you looking at him, stands up straight, spreads his arms wide.  

Hi there! I'm finally back from my *cough* *cough**cough**cough*

  He HOLDS UP ONE FINGER  

Hang o *cough* hang on! *cough **cough* *cough* *cough* *cough*

(Just a sec.)

*cough**cough**cough*

I'm finally back from the cold that has been plaguing me since *cough*

*cough * *cough* *cough*

. . . since *cough**cough**cough**cough*

 

Posted by rob at 07:34 PM

August 06, 2004

our story so far

  ROB stands in the ENGINE ROOM of www.robtwit.net, his HANDS COVERED WITH GREASE, pieces of the WEBLOG MACHINERY spread out on the floor around him.  

Our story so far? . . . well . . . .

Let's see . . . Allen is facing a crisis in his new relationship since his lady friend discovered our blog. Word has it that there have been phone calls between Allen and Liselot, and another call has been scheduled for the weekend . . . we all have our fingers crossed for them. We like them.

'wordsman and Beverly are canoeing in Canada. They're due to come back --- recharged and full of a million new projcct ideas --- around mid-August.

I, Rob, am sticking around home to overhaul the blog. Mostly behind the scenes stuff.

I did already get rid of the penguins! I closed the loophole they were hacking into, so we won't be seeing them again. Whoever that was, 'fess up please! We are just curious about how you did it . . . not to mention why.

So . . . robwit.net will be back in motion mid-August. Everyone stay cool until then!

Posted by rob at 03:29 AM

August 05, 2004

yikes!

  ROB sits on his back porch. It is the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. He stares into the dark, MOONLIT GARDEN.  

r8.jpgWell, dear readers, Allen's new love interest Liselot showed up to write with us. Surprised? We were!

Welcome, Liselot!

Allen' s not the only one who is mightily embarrassed. We're all feeling pretty sheepish about having written so much about you in public like this.

I apologize. You seem like a great person. I appreciate your trying to be understanding.

I mostly feel bad about the effect this has on your and Allen's relationship. It seemed like you had a good thing going. And Allen's blogwriting proves he cares about you, right?

Liselot, I know you may not be ready to hear this right now, r9.jpgbut for what it's worth --- Allen is a good guy, a good designer, a good friend. If there's any way for you to find in your heart to give him another chance ---- to view what happened here in the last month as a cool, weird, funny courtship story to tell, together, years from now --- I beg you to do it!

Posted by rob at 07:17 AM

August 02, 2004

minutes of the literary lunch in exile

 

12:04 'wordsman and Beverly order iced coffee. Summer is great. Rob arrives and demands to know if 'wordsman is behind the penguin newspaper on the blog. 'wordsman pretends to fumble his denial and acts guilty. Beverly cracks up.

12:07 Rob is dejected --- 'wordsman obviously is not impersonating the penguins. It must be some hacker. Could it be Joe Tabbi's handiwork? Or Anne Burdick?

12:09 What's the deal with Allen? Is he ready for a Real Relationship with this French woman he hardly knows? 'wordsman says yes. Rob says maybe. Beverly says no way, Schmozay.

12:14 Beverly wants all the Olympic Track and Field men to be nude like in the original ancient Olympics. Rob and 'wordsman wince. Beverly says: Exactly! She wants to see what happens to it. Does it shrink and get out of the way? If it knows what's good for it, says Rob.

 
 

12:18 Nude Olympics; Beverly says Nude Boxing and Rob and 'wordsman wince. Rob says Nude Archery and Beverly winces. 'wordsman says Nude Badminton and everybody winces.

12:22 Beverly is scandalized. How can 'wordsman say Allen is ready? 'wordsman has inside information: Allen's sister has two kids and Allen loves them. Beverly says: Nonetheless. Rob says Allen covets his bachelorhood.

12:30 Allen is intensely loyal with his employees. To a fault. Proof that Allen is not afraid of attachment, says 'wordsman. Employee/employer is a different relationship. Theoretically, says Beverly. They reminisce about Greta, Allen's former employee and long-time, on-and-off lover.

12: 37 Rob says Allen learned his lesson with Greta. Plus Allen's skin cancer put the scare in him. Guys have biological clocks, too.

12:42 'wordsman wants nudity to be the theme of the whole Olympics. He's very old school. Bike racing, too. Rob says the Olympics already have a theme: performance-enhancing drugs.

12:47 Performance enhancing drugs are natural --- part of human nature --- and should be legal, says 'wordsman. The true test of a national prowess is to see how jaked their scientists can make their athletes.

12:54 NASCAR is a battle between the engineers, not the drivers, says Rob; maybe 'wordsman's right. Imagine an Olympics of completely jaked, raving, jittery athletes.

12:55 Nude, adds Beverly

12: 59 Beverly thinks she, Rob and 'wordsman should get on a conference call to Allen. An intervention. Just to make sure that he's OK and not going off the deep end.

1:04 Rob sweeps up the tab. Hugs all around. Beverly will call about the conference call with Allen.

 
Posted by rob at 07:20 AM

July 29, 2004

c'mon! where are ya?

  ROB strides across the EMPTY ANTARCTIC wastes --- stepping carefully to avoiding PENGUIN wastes --- with an INTENSE, FEVERISH LOOK on his face.  

All right you little . . . !

  ROB MUTTERS and GRIMACES. He STUMBLES, STOPS and HOLLERS into the DISMAL DARK VOID.  
Oh, I see! You penguins talk big when you're hacking into a guy's blog and taking cheap shots at him! But when I fly all the way down here to the South Freaking Pole to have a little parlay vous face-to-beak you are conveniently nowhere to be found!
  ROB SHRUGS and ADDRESSES the READER.  

So, Dear Reader. . . blog technology is imperfect. I can't figure out how Los Penguinos are getting in here . . . I apologize for the inconvenience. Pay them no nevermind.

Posted by rob at 08:45 AM

July 22, 2004

"ha ha"

  ROB TRIES to SMILE good-naturedly, but the STRAIN shows. First the comment spammers, now THIS!  

OK. Ha ha. Very funny.

Now who is pretending to be the penguins?

And how are you getting into the system of my blog without a password?r16.jpg

You made your point; we will be kind to our brothers the flightless bipeds from now on.

Posted by rob at 12:43 PM

July 19, 2004

if a penguin . . .

  ROB roams the Antarctic Ice Pack looking for the LONELIEST LOST PENGUIN. ROB sees it and points through the GLOOM at the small figure. ROB listens attentively.  

Ah, the slippery slopes of neuroscience! The gravity of the study of mind inexorably pulls us from the realm of medical science on one hand and from the realm of philosophy on the other hand into the icy pit in between.

Thus we come upon qualia, ("Qualia are the subjective sensory qualities like "the redness of red" that accompany our perception." according to Qualia fan Ken Moji) a term caught in a tug-of-war r3.jpgbetween philosophers and neuroscientists . . . with art and music thrown in as the "evidence" . . . to complicate things further.

Fascinating . . . but yeesh! There comes a point where I get the headache! If Green and Red were reversed, would we even notice? If a lone penguin slips on the ice does it make a sound?

Let's all just relax and have an ice cold beer! Tastes like artichokes, doesn't it? Or does yours taste like persimmon? We'll never know.

Posted by rob at 03:58 PM

July 16, 2004

our story so far

  ROB sips a microbrewed lager and wonders how to celebrate . . . or at least acknowledge . . . Allen's having SUCCESSFULLY BEDDDED his new amour without seeming like a total unfeeling "typical guy" macho heel. In person ROB would HIGH FIVE Allen, then watch carefully to discern JUST HOW AMBIVALENT Allen is feeling about the situation.  

Our story so far . . . hmmmm . . .

Allen is in Los Angeles and has just drawn a step closer to the new love interest in his life, a French scientist.r5.jpg

Beverly and 'wordsman are ensconced in their nest in the deep woods, smooching it up and sharing ideas and editing the film Beverly was making in the Philippines. 'wordsman has been giving Allen moony, poetic love advice and Beverly has been busting 'wordsman's chops for it.

I, Rob, am getting set up for this Fall's Design teaching, and drawing like crazy. I filled a whole Japanese, accordion-style sketchbook.

The spam-bots got too annoying so I turned off the comments feature on all but the most recent entries. Spam ruins the fun for everyone. Got a really good price on some generic snake oil, though.

  Because, as ROB knows, with Allen AMBIVALENCE REIGNS. No sooner does he break through to INTIMACY with the WOMAN OF HIS DREAMS than he can't GET TOO FAR away from her. ROB takes another slug of lager and SHRUGS. ROB wishes them ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD. And LUCK.  
Posted by rob at 04:16 PM

July 10, 2004

minutes of friday's literary lunch in exile

 

12:01 'wordsman and beverly sit side-by-side in a booth; 'wordsman is drawing a frieze depicting an epic battle between Penguins and Puffins, modeled on Trajan's Column in Rome.

12:05 Beverly slunks her shoulder against 'wordsman and says that a Puffin would never use a spear. 'wordsman says Beverly made him draw a long line that now must become an Ice Squid. There is no Ice Squid in the historical accounts. 'wordsman will now be in trouble with history buffs.

12:06 Rob arrives. Hugs all around. The new David Sedaris book is awesome. David Sedaris is awesome. Rob wonders if it bothered David Sedaris that David Letterman asked about his sister Amy Sedaris so much on TV.

 
 

12: 07 'wordsman thinks that David Sedaris is well adjusted enough to shake it off. Beverly thinks that David Sedaris has a secret voodoo doll of Amy Sedaris in his book tour luggage.

12:12 What's up with Allen? Which mid-life crisis is this, Beverly has lost count. 'wordsman says it must be at least 7. Rob says this time it sounds serious. Beverly says every time it sounds serious.

12:17 Rob says Allen sounds a bit over his head with the Frenchness of her. Beverly says her apparent Smartness is a much more important parameter than her Frenchness. He's been moaning about wanting someone smart. Be careful what you wish for.

12:22 Why do they make shampoo that makes a fellow smell like a hot, sexy mosquito? Rob is getting bit to s***. He's now getting suggestive spam e-mail from mosquitos, based on one whiff of his shampooed hair. 'wordsman has a mosquito pen-pal in Latvia.

12:29 All agree that Allen is ready for someone smart. Is Allen ready to open up his childhood Pandoras Box and figure out his commitment phobia? Rob says: Yes. 'wordsman says: This year or next year. Beverly says: Doubtful.

12:34 What would they wish for Allen? Rob wishes Allen would break his leg while visiting his parents and have to stay there for 3 weeks and Face the Demons. 'wordsman used to love watching the old "Face the Demons" game show on TV after school as a kid.

12:40 Beverly wishes that Allen would take a long hitchiking backpacking trip in Asia with someone psychologically minded. Long talks over a flickering fire. Long hours of walking to process and reflect. 'wordsman appends a wish that Allen's hiking companion be both psychologically minded and attractive. For Allen's sake. Beverly slonks him with her shoulder.

12: 48 'wordsman asks Rob if Puffins use spears. Rob points out that there were no Ice Squids involved in the battle 'wordsman is illustrating.

12:51 'wordsman is not getting off the hook that easily. He owes a wish for Allen.

12:54 Is this penguin thoughtful or wistful? It's a crucial difference.

12:59 'wordsman wishes that Allen could find a creative outlet worthy of his talents, like making fine art or having kids. His inability to stretch his wings makes him selfish. Beverly and Rob say 'wordsman is right on.

12:04 'wordsman points out that what is usually translated as "horsehair-crested helmet" might actually mean "Ice Squid." Beverly pays for everyone's lunch. Hugs and 'see ya's.

 
Posted by rob at 11:31 AM

June 30, 2004

someone?

  ROB tries not to let a completely cynical expression cross his face in response to Allen's message.  

A new special someone? That's nice.

How did the after-conference drinks go last night?

  ROB knows that ALLEN knows ROB is JUST KIDDING about the cynical expression.  

No, really, I'm happy for you.

Do we know if she is really single?

Do we know if she reads the internet? If so, <<Bonjour Liselot! J' am ze friend of ze Allen! J' am pleazed to meet you! >> r10.jpg

Posted by rob at 11:43 AM

June 29, 2004

let your cares drop away II -- literary spell

 

ROB turns to BEVERLY and holds his FINGER to his LIPS. He continues to SWING the POCKET WATCH.

 

Shush! I'm casting a literary spell on our audience! Now, where were we . . .

Oh yeah. You were getting veddy veddy sleeeepy . . . you are getting soooooo veddy sleeeepy now . . .

You are reaaaaading . . . you are not at your stoopid computer at vork . . . no . . .

Rather, you are lying on a beauuuutifoool hot beach, reading under a chartreuse beeeeeeach umbrella . . . zipping a powerful Mai Tai cocktail through a slender straw . . . you are reading a powerful literature . . .you swirl among the clouds of a whapping good read . . . an obsequious penguin in a red bow tie offers you a small dish of mixed nuts in the form of a clam shell . . . the good, expensive kind of nuts with lots of cashews and no peanuts . . . no, no peanuts for you, only brilliant litearutooor . . . . you are reading ze best literary writing of its generation . . . it is smaart . . . veddy veddy insightfoool . . . you will tell all your friends to log on to robwit dot net.

Posted by rob at 08:30 AM

let your cares drop away -- literary spell

  SWINGING an ornate, Victorian, engraved POCKET WATCH back and forth before your eyes, ROB intones:  

You are getting sill . . . er . . . you are getting sleeeeepy . . . veddy veddy sleeeeepy . . .

Your arms and legs are getting veddy veddy heavy, like fat, sleeping penguins . . .

Posted by rob at 08:22 AM | Comments (0)

June 28, 2004

summer season opener

  ROB wanders sleepily across the lawn, standing knee-deep in dandilions and furze.  

r2.jpg

We're baaaa-ack!

Bursts of work, bursts of travel . . . finally the robwit.net gang find ourselves back here at the screen.

Where is here?

For Allen it is SF Bay Area through Monday and then . . . what . . . Washington D.C. was it, Allen? (He's the graphic designer on a big big project.)

For Beverly and 'wordsman, it is their love cabin in the deep forest , now that they're back from Europe. Beverly might actually get to stay home for a month or more, she's saying.

And for me, it's the usual North Woods, where the bugs and the cantelope play . . . .and where I investigate the neurobiology of written words and pixellated pictures.

Posted by rob at 08:12 AM

June 01, 2004

hither and thither, spring season finale

  ROB SHIVERS in the cold drizzle. He stands in SURFING SHORTS and wipes rain from his SUN GLASSES.  

Wow!

Finally the Fab Four (Allen, Bev, 'wordsman, & myself) are back together . . . and it's time to disperse and travel again.

  He LAUGHS.  

At least those guys get to travel. So cool to see Beverly writing in the Mezangelle dialect, invented by the great Mez. Can't wait to see more.

'wordsman and Beverly are going to create a mobile lovenest in Vaison la Romaine, south of France for a short spell, Allen is spending a lot of (high quality, apparently) time in Chicago, and I'm here in the Nort' Woods tidying odds & ends for a week or so.

We have a rendezvous for a Literary Lunch (which I'm sure will be raucous, now that Bev is back) in the second week of June . . . and then we'll launch the fabulous summer season of robwit.net.

Posted by rob at 04:10 PM

May 18, 2004

the latest in high tech scarecrowery

 

Late evening. ROB sits on a purple sand BEACH on the shores of the GREAT LAKE, in good company, before a BEACH FIRE.

RURAL CALM ABIDES.

 

So, if I read 'wordsman's message correctly, Beverly is due back here next week. Woo hoooooo! It'll be good to see her. Get her story of the "healing rebuses" from her own lips.

r11.jpg But, 'wordsman, buddy . . . I know that we live here in the North Woods . . . but I wouldn't exactly call us "Hooterville."
 

ROB laughs large.

Then he gestures out across the DUSK BLUE BAY toward the SMALL ISLAND 1/8 mile out.

 
I mean . . . we have very sophisticated wilderness here. Take Poop Island, for example! I don't know what it's really called, but it clearly is a beloved target of gull, cormorant, and goose. Wait just a moment . . . you'll see . . .
  SUDDENLY, in the darkness, POOP ISLAND COMES TO LIFE with numerous FLASHING LIGHTS and an insistent CAR ALARM SIREN.  
. . . I don't know quite what is the exact deal, but there is some kind of urgent bird management situation here that calls for the very latest in high-tech scarecrowery! Hooterville? Come on!
 

Farther down the beach a CLOUD OF EXHAUST from a 4-wheel ATV is illuminated by its HEADLAMP. Into the SMOKY BEAM are fired FOUR BOTTLE ROCKETS, which extinguish themselves in the lake. The ATV departs.
SILENCE RETURNS.

 
Posted by rob at 04:13 PM

May 08, 2004

videogame vaporlock

  ROB staggers away from his PlayStation2, eyes glazed, HANDS cramped into CLAWS.  
r16.jpg

I have such a videogame headache! Aaarrrggg!

I've been playing Samouraii, the Home Front for 3 days straight. I need help!

Samouraii, the Home Front is a highly realistic role-playing game set in the heyday of the Shogunate. It's designed to fill in the experiential gaps in other games --- it deals with everything but fighting.

Here's where I'm stuck --- Mitsuko's mother has moved in with us and is bankrupting the household with her retinue and driving everyone nuts. How do I earn enough Face Points to get Mitsuko's mom to move back to her family's estate before Lord Yamata pays his yearly visit --- without making Mitsuko angry???!!!

Also --- what the heck is the key to making point-winning Festival Verse? I'm counting syllables, I've got metaphors and metonyms up the wazoo, I've got surprising imagery that stays within traditional norms. But my bouquet always wilts! What gives?

Posted by rob at 10:01 AM

May 06, 2004

minutes of wednesday's literary lunch in exile, including beverly update

 

11:58 'wordsman is engrossed in drawing an all-penguin version of the Prophets and Sybils from the ceiling of Michelangelo's Capella Sistina.

12:04 Allen looks over his shoulder for a minute, then startles 'wordsman by saying that penguins support drapery nicely. Allen and 'wordsman are glad to see each other.

12:07 Rob arrives. He is bummed by the Iraqi prisoner abuse scandal. They all are. Rob likes they drapery on the penguin Cumaean Sibyl, especially around the flippers.

12:08 Allen says 'wordsman is driving him nuts on Rob's blog, writing in poems all the time. 'wordsman should write a normal blog diary like everyone else.

12:11 'wordsman says: just as everybody's dreams are the same, everybody's diaries are the same. They are as formulaic and predictable as the daily news.

 
 

12:13 When Rob invited them, 'wordsman and Beverly asked each other: how could we do a diary on Rob's blog differently? Be more specific? More accurate?

12:19 Everybody's dreams are the same? Allen says last night he dreamt about a giant green woman with squid hair lavishing him with squidly hot lovin'. Rob holds the copyright on that dream. Allen owes Rob a 48 cents in royalties.

12:26 So what is the deal with Beverly?

12:27 'wordsman says Beverly had a life changing experience with some minority tribespeople in the back country. The first thing they did was confiscate cell phones. That's why Bev was out of touch.

12:35 'wordsman says Beverly is super-busy in Tokyo, editing another documentary. By her own admission, she can't talk about her experience coherently. She's in a good mood, though.

12:38 These tribespeople Beverly was with are continuing a shamanic tradition using wireless telecommunications. Picture phones. They used to use esp. The best description she can give is: Healing Rebuses. She saw healings. Beverly says her own cyst disappeared.

12:42 Rob says Beverly should get together with Harvard historian of science Anne Harrington who does the mind/body placebo-effect work.

12:47 Are all dreams owned by someone? Allen asks Rob about Allen's repeating dream of Uncle Sash', the axe and the floating chopping block. Does Rob own that one, too? Rob says Uncle Sash' sold his rights to that dream to Paul McCartney in the early '80s.

12:51 'wordsman quietly asserts that if you sleep in other people's beds, you get their dreams. Rob and Allen stare at their coffees for a minute. Allen thanks 'wordsman a lot for that one. Now he'll never get that out of his mind!

12:54 Rob says he's going to wear Mind-Plugs from now on when he sleeps in a motel, to keep from getting other people's dreams. Allen says he needs a pair of Mind-Plugs for this one client of his. She is out of control.

12:57 When is Beverly coming back? Middle of May, says 'wordsman. She's starting to leave 'wordsman bizarre messages on his picture phone. Maybe Beverly is shamanising him. Rob tells 'wordsman to check if his hair is starting to grow back.

1:02 What if Allen is using someone else's really good dream and doesn't want to give it back? Does he have to rent it? 'wordsman and Rob wish Allen good luck with his out of control client. The bill arrives, 'wordsman is short, Rob and Allen cover. They leave.

 
Posted by rob at 12:17 PM

May 02, 2004

interpreting 'wordsman's googlepoems, 2

  ROB crouches and POINTS DOWN THE SCROLL to 'wordsman's entry from EARLY THIS MORNING  

See, Allen!

'wordsman reads this blog. He's responding to your questions.

Just in his own way.

(Good to hear it, 'wordsman.)

r9.jpg

Posted by rob at 09:18 AM

May 01, 2004

interpreting 'wordsman's googlepoems

  ROB stands next to ALLEN on top of Mt. Whitney, the HIGHEST PLACE in California, looking down down through the SHIMMERS of ATMOSPHERE at Death Valley, the LOWEST PLACE in California.  

Allen . . . how can I say this . . . 'wordsman is 'wordsman. The man's gotta write what the man's gotta write.

But you can interpret it.

When you look at the googlepoem, it means --- Beverly's still in Tokyo. She and wordsman are talking on the phone. He doesn't know quite when she's coming back. And the mood of their conversations is . . .

. . . well the mood of their conversations is the mood of the poem. Pretty precise communication, actually.

Posted by rob at 11:34 PM

April 30, 2004

exquisitely awkward radio

  ROB shows you his precious WALKMAN RADIO which is rarely out of reach.  

r18.jpgDon't know if you know this about me . . . but radio is my favorite medium. It assuaged the loneliness issue in childhood and adolescence, and I've loved it ever since.

It has been my peculiar luck, over the years, to hear many, many "last broadcasts" of established radio personalities.

This morning was Bob Edwards' last day as the host of National Public Radio's "Morning Edition" (staple news source of American liberals and intellectuals). He was asked to step down. He sounded sore about it. He sounded pouty.

It resulted in an exquisitely awkward moment.

Here's how I heard it.

Edwards decided to bookend his career with an interview with Charles Osgood, likewise a radio legend, who is currently promoting his new book. Edwards' first interview as host of Morning Edition, 24.5 years ago, was with this same Osgood.

Well, apparently, nobody told Osgood.

Toward the end of an otherwise unremarkable interview, Edwards flopped out the fact that this interview was his parting gesture after a quarter century as host.

Osgood reflexively used the moment to charge ahead for to one further plug for his book.

Edwards, heart on sleeve, twisted slowly in the breeze for an agonizing moment.

Then Osgood seemed to realize the emotional weight of the moment for Edwards. He pluckily summoned up an improvised parting speech and a flustered piece of ritual encouragement.

My take? Edwards went off crestfallen. Osgood went off going "What the hell was that?"

It sonded like a weird emotional ambush. It was soooooooooooooo awwwwwwwwwwkward!

Posted by rob at 11:08 AM

April 29, 2004

pure cultural energy

  ROB tracks you down during your work day and excitedly convinces you to DUCK INTO his office so he can show you an IMAGE he has on HIS SCREEN  

Look at this!

This image of an event that happened a couple of weeks ago in Norway . . . this image is what raw cultural energy looks like! Kids sharing creative work; lil' computer animations 'n graphics. This is an art-making scene that is actually happening. Context for this event is found here.

As opposed, I'm afraid, to our beloved e-literature scene, which I love wholeheartedly, but which, objectively, is not happening, and which I believe could use to think about its relationship with its audience a bit.

Yeah, yeah . . . I know how stultifying and trivial most of the stuff in the wacky-hacky demoscene is. But pure cultural energy is, in itself, a force to be reckoned with (and channeled toward depth, complexity, history . . . in our roles as teachers and mentors).

The impulses are among us . . . William and Scott spinning music while we write together . . . awareness of the experience of 'wordsmanship

I think we e-lit types should be aiming at an energy level like the one in this picture.

Posted by rob at 10:45 AM

April 25, 2004

four men and a prose poem

  ROB stands in the gentle snow of a Northland April morning in just a T-SHIRT. Damned if he's going to wear a JACKET on APRIL THE DARNED 25th!  

Have you ever watched someone write?

No, no, no . . . not watched the writer's body . . . but, rather, the writer's words . . . as they appear on a screen one by one, every pause . . . every hesitation, every pause shown in real-time . . . the suspence the tingling suspense as you wait to see what direction the sentence is going to head take?r14.jpg

Well . . . this weekend I had the privilege (and weird supreme language arts pleasure) of writing with the Unknown . . . working the same document at the same time from four different locations (Rhode Island, New Jersey, Ohio, Minnesota). . . producing this result.

Imagine the eager blinking of four different cursors on the page you're writing on!

The Unknown (Scott Rettberg, Wm. Gillespie, Dirk Stratton) are the notorious hypertext authors of this rambling marvelous hypertext novel, and inspiring to me not only for the quality of their words, but also the delirious enthusiasm of their process. These men love to write, and write together, and they'll write in bars, whilst trashing hotel rooms, and by invitation at educational institutions of ill repute.

  ROB sits in the BACK YARD on a FROSTY STUMP. ROB used to be in a band called FROSTY STUMP. It was a Seals & Crofts tribute band.  

Scott had us set up on a collaborative work program called SubEthaEdit. Each writer's words are marked in a different color. You can find exactly where someone else is writing at the moment by clicking on their her name.

I spent a fair amount of time just watching the others compose. Then I got into a weird little "haunting" game --- jumping right in ahead of, say, William's cursor and writing something lamely postmodern like "William could feel the presence of another author in the text," then erasing it and running off to pester Dirk for a while.

When I die, I think I'll make a really good ghost.

Posted by rob at 09:52 AM

April 21, 2004

mind/body narratives

  ROB walks on a FOREST PATH near his home. He STANDS WITH YOU overlooking a ravine in which dirty patches of SNOW still hide in the shadows.  

It's clear to me that biology is taking the place in culture that computer science has held for the past couple of decades.

In particular, neuroscience. Consciousness and emotion are physical processes and these are becoming knowable. No more conceptual split between hardware and software. Hardware and software . . .

. . . mind and body are, as the old truism goes, one. r17.jpg

So, what stories do we tell ourselves about mind and body? Historian of science Anne Harrington teaches a fascinating class at Harvard called Stories under the Skin: The Mind-Body Connection in Modern Medicine. She uses narratology to frame students' thinking.

I've been unable to find a place where she's published about these mind/body stories..

Dear Anne Harrington: please write a book about these stories!

Anne Harrington was kind enough to write back and say that yes she is finishing a book for W.W. Norton, modeled on this class, and tentatively titled Stories under the Skin: The Making of Mind-Body Medicine in American Culture. Hooray.

"Story One:
"The Power of Suggestion" (the debunking story)"

 
Harrington deals with topics such as: possession, hypnotism, imagination, power of suggestion, placebo effect
 
Story Two:
 "The Body that Speaks” (the mystery story)

Harrington deals with topics such as : repressed memories in the body

Story Three:
 "The Power of Positive Thinking"(the miracle story)

Harrington deals with topics such as: faith cures, Christian Science, power of positive thinking

Story Four:
 "Broken by Modern Life" (the story of lament)

 
Harrington deals with topics such as: stress, heart disease and the immune system

Story Five:
"Eastward Journeys"(the exoticism story)

 
Harrington deals with topics such as: meditation, chi, and stress

Story Six:
 "Healing Ties” (the nostalgia story)

Harrington deals with topics such as: loneliness, love and cancer

Posted by rob at 10:49 AM

April 20, 2004

minutes of monday's drunken literary lunch in exile

 

11:58 Allen orders a pitcher of Elite British Colonial White-as-Porcelain Pale Ale (not its real name) and three glasses. He pours himself two inches of beer and gulps it.

12:02 Allen stares remorsefully at his sudsy glass, blatant evidence that he has begun drinking alone. Should he get a fresh glass? Wipe this one with a napkin?

12:05 'wordsman appears and Allen leaps up to hug him. They dance. They are happy Beverly is OK. Waltz, Charleston, Macarena. Applause from other diners.

 
 

12:11 Rob arrives with two bouquets of organic asparaguses. Rob is taught the Macarena. Everybody is out of breath. What are the plural of asparagus?

12:17 Was 'wordsman there at his cabin when Rob and Allen visited last week? 'wordsman is not telling. How is 'wordsman doing since Beverly turned up? 'wordsman performs a two-finger dance on the table. This means "great."

12:22 Did 'wordsman get the whole story from Beverly? He wants to let her tell it. Teaser preview: Pirates. Real Pirates. She's in Tokyo for at least a week.

12:28 'wordsman has his own way of dealing with stress; he makes friends with it. Allen's plan for dealing with stress is to freak out and fall apart. Or have lots of sex.

12:34 Incidents like Beverly's disappearance, says 'wordsman, remind you of what's really important in life.

12:40 What is really important in life? 'Having a hot car,' says Rob. 'Paying Allen lots of money,' says Allen. 'No,' says 'wordsman, 'penguins. In the pace of modern life, everyone forgets penguins.'

12:43 Toast: To rich penguins in hot cars.

12:44 Toast: To a rich Allen, and penguins in hot cars.

12:50 Rob orders a pitcher of Insert-Vanished-Local-Rust-Belt-Industry-Here Porter (not its real name). Rob asks if Allen started drinking before the others got there. Allen wants to know how Rob knew. No, seriously, how did he know?

12:53 Where did 'wordsman and Beverly meet? They were on the staff of an underground magazine in Berkeley in the '70s. She wore Nepalese pants and long black hair. They cracked each other up in meetings.

12:57 Beverly's always had that wicked sense of humor. "Cynical" is an interesting word, says Rob. It's the word people in High School and early College use to indicate a certain level of maturity as they evolve into it.

1:01 "Cynical" means an attitude of "not buying the program." Differentiating from your parents. It's not really cynical, says Allen, just skeptical. Worldly, says 'wordsman.

1:02 Toast: To being "world-silly" rather than "world-weary." Who's getting tipsy? Rob, 'wordsman, Allen raise their hands.

1:05 Beverly was the editor of her High School newspaper. Every issue was censored. It's a badge of honor.

1:08 Toast: To Beverly. Toast: To those who climb mountains to visit friends. Toast: To penguins.

1;10 Allen says the Macarena spells out "I am an idiot" in semaphore code. Toast: To Beverly.

1:14 The bill arrives. All rise to leave. Big hugs. The people at the next table call for more dancing.

 
Posted by rob at 09:23 AM

April 17, 2004

upon hearing from 'wordsman

'wordsman . . .
good to see you.

At least here.

Were you hiding out from us when we visited your house?

Call any time.

We'll be glad to hike up the falls and see you.

bigwaterfall.JPG
Posted by rob at 08:31 AM

April 15, 2004

going to check on 'wordsman

upstairs.JPG

Allen and I took off work and made the looooooooong drive and the loooooooooooooooooonger walk up the hill to 'wordsman's place.

It was mid afternoon today and we still hadn't heard from him. And none of us had heard from Beverly overseas.

Neither of them believe in phones. Or, only sometimes.

We worry.

'wordsman and Beverly live in what would be called a cabin, if it didn't contain a city's worth --- a lifetime's worth, two lifetimes worth --- of curated culture and erudition. It's a profound North Woods knowledge castle.

'wordsman and Beverly are "old hippies."

'wordsman and Beverly are not "old hippies" at all.

They breakfast on clouds.

They talk with Keats and Goethe.

They convince all the snakes in the woods
to spell words in their front yard.

They walk around naked if they want to.

They read aloud to each other in French by the kerosene lamp.

 

wordsstep1.JPG
icepath.JPG

'wordsman and Beverly laugh and won't open the door.

They have the most varied and cool and international
e-mail friendships of anyone I know.

Anywhere in the world they go, the stay for free.

Anything you've just discovered, they already have a collection of it.

 

'wordsman and Beverly give the best advice ever

(if you coax them).

and cook the best food ever

(without making a fuss)

They've been everywhere

and done everything

but they always wind up listening with sparkly eyes

as you rattle on and on

about your own adventures.

smallwaterfall.JPG
downstairs.JPG

We knocked, we yelled, we hollered.

We didn't find him.

We left him a note

and took the path back down the hill.

Posted by rob at 11:55 PM

April 14, 2004

nobody freak out